Catatan Stefano

Author: stefano

  • Air dan Garam

    Suatu ketika, hiduplah seorang orang tua yg bijak. Seorang anak muda yg sedang dirundung masalah mendatanginya. Langkahnya gontai & air mukanya ruwet. Tanpa membuang waktu, orang itu menceritakan semua masalahnya. Pak Tua yg bijak, hanya mendengarkannya dgn seksama. Ia lalu mengambil segenggam garam, meminta tamunya mengambil segelas air. Ditaburkannya garam itu kedalam gelas, lalu diaduknya perlahan,
    “Coba minum & katakan bagaimana rasanya…”
    “Asin… Asin sekali” jawab pemuda itu, sambil meludah ke samping.
    Pak Tua itu lalu mengajak tamunya berjalan ke tepi
    telaga. Ia lalu kembali menaburkan segenggam garam ke dalam telaga itu. Dengan sepotong kayu, dibuatnya gelombang mengaduk-aduk & tercipta riak air, mengusik ketenangan telaga itu,
    “Coba, ambil air dari telaga ini & minumlah.”
    Saat tamu itu selesai mereguk air itu, Pak Tua berkata lagi,
    “Bagaimana rasanya?”
    “Segar…” sahut tamunya
    “Apakah kamu merasakan garam di dalam air itu?” tanya Pak Tua lagi
    “Tidak” jawab si anak muda
    “Anak muda, dengarlah… Pahitnya kehidupan adalah layaknya segenggam garam, tak lebih & tak kurang.
    Jumlah & rasa pahit itu adalah sama, & memang akan tetap sama. Tapi, kepahitan yg kita rasakan, akan sangat tergantung dari wadah yg kita miliki. Kepahitan itu akan didasarkan dari perasaan tempat kita meletakkan segalanya. Itu smua akan tergantung pada hati kita. Jadi, saat kamu merasakan kepahitan & kegagalan dalam hidup, hanya ada satu hal yang bisa kamu lakukan. Lapangkanlah dadamu menerima semuanya. Luaskanlah hatimu untuk menampung setiap kepahitan itu.”

    Pesan Moral,
    Hati Yg Lapang Bisa Menampung Segala Kepahitan, Bisa Memaafkan & Memaklumi !!
    “Siapa mengejar kebaikan, berusaha untuk dikenan orang, tetapi siapa mengejar kejahatan akan ditimpa kejahatan.”
    (Amsal 11:26)

  • Hati-hati dengan barang bawaan anda di dalam pesawat

    Mau bagikan saja tulisan menarik yang aku rasa cukup berguna buat kita semua, terutama ketika berpergian dengan transportasi umum. Orang ini bercerita tentang kejadian di saat dia hendak pergi ke Hong Kong.

    I would like to draw your attention to an attempted robbery on a flight into Hong Kong last week. With an hour to go, during the flight, I thought I noticed my bag being replaced in the overhead locker. I wasn’t sure and decided it was probably a fellow passenger, moving it to access their own bag. I dismissed any thought of any wrong doing, but upon arrival in HK, something told to me to retrieve the bag, just to make sure nothing suspicious had occurred. When I opened the overhead locker (not above me) and saw my leather bag was the only one occupying the space I knew there was a problem. I examined the content, only to find all of my wife’s jewellery, along with some cash had been stolen, during the flight.

    I raised the alarm and my wife and I quickly blocked both aisles to stop anyone at the back of the plane disembarking….there were around 120 passengers…. My wife and I both shouted for assistance from the stewards and stewardesses. Eventually a steward told me that security had been called but passengers were becoming very agitated and unwilling to show patience or understanding….they just wanted to get off the plane….my wife and I were the only people controlling the passengers. I pleaded with the passengers to check their own bags at which point three fellow travellers reported they had also been robbed. It was only at this point, did I see any evidence from the cabin crew that they were willing to provide any meaningful support. I vaguely remember seeing a passenger wearing black, sporting a white base-ball cap and pleaded with the rest of the passengers to see if they could remember anyone fitting my description. It turned out to be a passenger standing in front of me, who once identified proceeded to offload money, jewelry, camera equipment and false documents, running into tens of thousand, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of stolen goods.

    By this time security had boarded the plane, the Captain had been informed and was standing in the rear section watching the events unfold. Eventually a policeman boarded the plane and I was able to explain the events leading up to my apprehending the thief. I have since been informed this criminal activity is reaching epidemic proportions and the authorities caught three thieves, just last week, (with 30 already on remand since early December) on flights into HK, with all the criminals coming from the same town in China. It is estimated that only 5% are being caught judging by the reports of passengers contacting the police after they have arrived at their destination. They sit in the back row of the plane observing where bags are behind or away from the passengers and systematically pull them from the overhead lockers, while passengers rest or watch movies, take them to the back of the plane and steal any valuable contents. They prey on foreign airlines as the penalties are so lenient, the pay-off makes it worth the risk.

    I naively have never thought of robbers operating on planes, but now I have experienced it first hand, there are a few takeaways:
    1. Hand luggage should ALWAYS be locked.
    2. Do not assume luggage under your seat is safe….last week one passenger had her purse stolen by the guy sitting next to her while she slept !!
    3. If in doubt, wear or keep any valuables ON YOU at all
    times !!
    4. Don’t assume, like me, that everyone on a flight is a
    law-abiding citizen.
    5. Do not assume business class travel is secure…. robbers can be wealthy.

    Please do share this important message with your
    family and friends!

  • Kasus Pastor Rantinus di Bonaran, Sumut

    PASTOR RANTINUS MANALU JADI TERSANGKA KARENA BERPIHAK KEPADA YANG MENDERITA
    Oleh Eduardus B Sihaloho S.Ag

    Konsistensi membela dan memperjuangkan kepentingan dan hak-hak rakyat yang menderita telah membuat seorang imam dari Keuskupan Sibolga, Sumatera Utara, dua kali berurusan dengan penegak hukum atau dijadikan tersangka. Nama imam itu adalah Pastor Rantinus Manalu Pr yang kini bertugas sebagai Ketua Komisi Justice and Peace Keuskupan Sibolga. Di tahun 2009, dia pertama diperiksa oleh Polda Sumatera Utara sebagai tersangka kasus tindak pidana penggunaan dan pendudukan kawasan hutan secara tidak sah, dan tanggal 6 Februari 2013 polisi menetapkan imam itu bersama pejuang HAM, Ustad Sodikin Lubis, dan aktivis kelompok Gerakan Rakyat Menggugat (GERAM), Denis Simalango, sebagai tersangka pencemaran nama baik Bupati Tapanuli Tengah, Raja Bonaran Situmeang SH, MHum. Yang menjadi pertanyaan, apa alasan yang membuat seorang imam berurusan dengan aparat penegak hukum? Dalam kasus ini, saya pastikan jawabannya adalah konsistensi membela dan memperjuangkan kepentingan dan hak-hak rakyat yang menderita.

    Saya mencoba merunut ke belakang. Sebenarnya, Bupati Raja Bonaran Situmeang dan Pastor Rantinus adalah bagian dari satu tim yang kompak menggulingkan kepemimpinan Kabupaten Tapanuli Tengah sebelumnya. Bagi masyarakat Tapanuli Tengah, kedatangan Bonaran Situmeang sebagai calon bupati pada Pemilukada 2011 dianggap sebagai “penyelamat” yang dinantikan. Anggapan itu dipegang masyarakat karena dalam kampanye dia berjanji memperjuangkan pengembalian tanah-tanah rakyat yang dicaplok oleh perusahaan-perusahaan perkebunan. Untuk memenangkan Bonaran ke kursi jabatan Bupati Tapanuli Tengah, masyarakat mendaulat Pastor Rantinus untuk menjadi Ketua Tim Sukses Pemenangan Bonaran. Kerja keras Pastor Rantinus bersama timnya tidak sia-sia. Mereka berhasil mendudukkan Raja Bonaran menjadi Bupati Tapanuli Tengah. Namun di tengah perjalanan, ternyata janji-janji politik saat kampanye tidak dijalankan. Pastor Rantinus dan kawan-kawan berkesimpulan bahwa Bonaran ingkar janji. Konflik pun terjadi karena tanggal 17 September 2012, Bupati Bonaran melaporkan Pastor Rantinus dan kawan-kawan ke Polda Sumut karena telah mencemarkan nama baiknya. Pencemaran nama baik muncul menyusul terbitnya advertorial Harian Rakyat Tapanuli edisi 8 September 2012 yang berisi ajakan untuk berdemo menuntut bupati turun dari jabatannya karena tidak memenuhi janji-janji saat kampanye. Bahkan imam itu bersama kawan-kawan menuduh bupati berbohong kepada masyarakat dengan membuat janji palsu saat kampanye hanya demi meraih dukungan pemilih, memanfaatkan mutasi dan promosi jabatan birokrasi untuk kepentingan pribadi, memalsukan data, menerima gratifikasi, dan melakukan pembohongan publik.

    “Perseteruan” antara Pastor Rantinus dan kawan-kawan dengan penguasa di kabupaten itu bukan sekali saja. Mereka pernah bertentangan dengan bupati sebelumnya. Pertentangan itu bukan demi kepentingan diri sendiri, tapi demi membela dan memperjuangkan kepentingan rakyat yang terzalimi oleh penguasa dan pengusaha. Penderitaan berkepanjangan karena pencaplokan tanah rakyat membuat Pastor Rantinus dengan kelompoknya dan seluruh masyarakat yang tertindas menyatukan hati dan tujuan untuk memenangkan Raja Bonaran yang berjanji membantu mereka. Namun harapan dan cita-cita masyarakat tidak kesampaian. Raja Bonaran mengabaikan janjinya untuk mengembalikan tanah rakyat yang diambil oleh perusahaan perkebunan sawit. Rakyat pun berang dan menuntut Bonaran Situmeang mundur, dan Pastor Rantinus tersangkut masalah hukum karena pilihan hidupnya untuk langsung membela orang yang teraniaya, yang dicaplok haknya, dan yang terpinggirkan.

    Di daerah itu ada beberapa perusahaan perkebunan yang menguasai tanah-tanah yang sudah begitu lama bahkan puluhan tahun digarap masyarakat. Tanah-tanah itu sangat cocok untuk perkebunan. Maka pengusaha bersekongkol dengan penguasa setempat agar tanah-tanah yang dikuasai masyarakat itu diambil begitu saja dengan dalih telah memperoleh sertifikat HGU (Hak Guna Usaha) dari bupati. Dengan segala cara pengusaha lalu berusaha menyingkirkan masyarakat yang mengerjakan tanah-tanah itu, bahkan kekerasan dan penghilangan nyawa dianggap wajar. Ini jelas bertentangan dengan HAM. Pastor Rantinus pun gelisah dan bertekad meringankan penderitaan masyarakat. Dia mendekati masyarakat, memberikan pendampingan, bahkan mengadvokasi dan membela rakyat kecil. Menurut Ketua Komisi Justice, Peace and Integraty of Creation (JPIC) Ordo Kapusin Propinsialat Sibolga, Pastor Frans Zai OFMCap, perjuangan Pastor Rantinus murni sebagai gembala umat yang berjuang bagi rakyat kecil. “Dia adalah sosok pemimpin yang konsisten dengan sikap dan pilihannya, walaupun karena pilihan itu dia harus menghadapi aparat penegak hukum seperti yang terjadi sekarang.”

    Benar, bagi warga Tapanuli Tengah, Pastor Rantinus dikenal sebagai sahabat dan pembela korban ketidakadilan. Dia berjuang bukan untuk kepentingan sendiri, tapi kepentingan dan hak-hak masyarakat yang terjajah dan termarginalkan, bahkan tergiur untuk terjun ke dunia politik praktis, yang sebenarnya dilarang oleh Gereja, demi membantu masyarakat. Sayang sekali, upaya yang dilakukan imam itu atas Izin pimpinannya di Keuskupan Sibolga untuk memperbaiki keadaan dengan terjun langsung ke dunia politik terhalang karena bupati menyimpang dari harapan mayoritas masyarakat. Situasi ini membuatnya tidak bisa tinggal diam. Bersama teman-temannya, imam itu berbalik arah, mengambil jarak, dan mengkritisi bupati. Pilihan itu adalah pilihan keberpihakan kepada orang yang menderita, terpinggirkan, terancam, dan ketakutan. Masyarakat yang didampingi imam itu senantiasa merasa terancam oleh pengusaha dan penguasa, yang berkuasa melakukan apa yang mereka kehendaki.

    Karena itu, Pastor Rantinus terpanggil untuk bertindak. Panggilan kenabian (prophetic vocation) itu bersumber dari hati nurani dan panggilan tugas moral imamat. Namun bila dipahami lebih jauh, pilihan keberpihakan yang dilakukan oleh Pastor Rantinus merupakan tugas mulia yang sungguh bermartabat. Pilihannya untuk membela dan memperjuangkan hak-hak rakyat kecil bukan tanpa resiko. Dekanus Dekanat Tapanuli Pastor Servasius Sihotang OFMCap dalam surat 6 Februari 2013 menulis bahwa sejauh ini diamati bahwa apa diperjuangkan Pastor Rantinus Manalu Pr serta Ustad Shodiqin Lubis dan Denis Simalango masih dalam jalur yang benar dan batas-batas yang wajar. Maka, tegas imam itu, Gereja Katolik Dekanat Tapanuli mengajak seluruh umat Katolik dan rekan-rekan juang dari pastor, serta ustad dan aktivis itu untuk memberikan dukungan baik moral maupun spiritual. “Kita yakin bahwa melalui doa-doa kita, Allah akan memberikan kekuatan kepada mereka untuk tetap teguh dalam kebenaran dan keadilan. Dengan demikian untaian doa kita akan mendatangkan pembaharuan demi kepentingan seluruh masyarakat Tapanuli Tengah, terutama mereka yang tertindas dan terpinggirkan karena ketidakadilan,” tulis surat yang tembusannya dikirim ke Uskup Sibolga, direktur Puspas dan pastor paroki se-Dekanat Tapanuli.***

  • What is love?

    The phone rang.
    She was sobbing badly on the other end of the line. “I’m going over,” I told her and hung up before she could protest.

    1am. It was going to be a long night ahead.. She was still crying when she opened the door. She looked so broken, so vulnerable. I didn’t have to know what was wrong, I just held her in my arms. She cried even more.

    “He broke up with me,” she finally said.
    I just kept quiet as she let it all out.. questions, tears, anger, hurt.
    “Why does love have to hurt so much?”
    “No, love.. doesn’t hurt,” I said gently.
    “So says the guy who’s been single forever? What would you know about love,” she jabbed.
    “So says the guy who’s been your friend though Mr now-ex-#4,” I grinned. “Love doesn’t hurt you.. it’s the person that doesn’t know how to love or appreciate love that hurts you. But love never hurts,”.
    “You won’t understand, Matt,” she sighed, “you’ve never been in love…”
    “That’s not entirely true, you know..”
    “Wait what- so who’s this girl I’ve never heard abou-“
    “What did you love about #4 anyway?” I interjected.
    “I don’t know… he is just perfect. And I love him so much,”
    “But you don’t know what it is that you love about him?”
    “It’s just.. the feeling when I’m with him. It always felt right with him. He made me feel loved and I loved him too,”
    “That’s it? Just a feeling?”
    “Well.. yea. What were you expecting me to say?”
    “.. something more specific, maybe? I mean, if you thought he’s so ‘perfect’, why’d he still chea- erm, why’d he leave you?”
    “Because I’m just not good enough for him? I don’t know..” she paused. “What is love to you then…”
    “Hmm.. to me, being together or in love with someone should be more that just a feeling.. it should also be about mutual understanding, acceptance, respect, commitment and trust.”
    “That’s what all couples would hope and want their relationship to be like, Matt. But expectations and reality don’t always go together..”
    “Or maybe.. someone’s just not trying?”
    “Well if you think love is so simple.. why haven’t you been with anyone all these years?”
    “I never said love was simple.. but I guess the reason why I’ve never been with anyone yet is because.. I already know exactly what I want,”
    “You have.. a checklist?”
    “Sorta. It’s not the typical kinda ‘I’d like a girl with long hair, nice smile, etc’ superficial checklist though,”
    “Oh. What kind of list is it then?”
    “It’s like.. a concept of love. Of what it is about a girl that will make me fall completely in love with her. A concept that has more than three specific reasons that would answer any question as to why I love her.”
    “You have a concept of love?” she laughed. “Love isn’t a theory, Matt.. you can’t just classify love by a concept or definition, you simply feel it with your heart..”
    “But you see.. the reason why I think there are so many broken hearts, is because people merely jump into a relationship when their heart feels a certain something towards someone. But I don’t think that’s love, that’s merely an infatuation. Personally, I believe there are more than three reasons and aspects that actually determines whether we really are truly in love beyond the superficial ‘I don’t know why I love him/her.. I just do’ reason,”
    “That makes sense. So what exactly is this.. ‘concept’ of yours about?” she asked, genuine curiosity replacing her initial skepticism.
    “I call it the 4+1 theory. The aspects that will determine if it’s true love or just a fickle infatuation. It’s based on this idea that whenever we like someone, if we really go deeper into what is it that draws us to him or her, we’d be able to find that one specific reason. That’s not love though. That’s merely an attraction or infatuation. But when more than three of the aspects from this theory are present, you’ll be pretty sure that it’s more than just a feeling. For me personally, this determines if I’ll ever fall in love with a girl…”

    Mind. Heart. Body. Soul.
    The mind aspect, to put it simply, is her intellect. But I don’t mean the academic smarts.. it’s the way she thinks, processes and analyzes things way beyond a shallow self centeredness. It’s the way she puts across her thoughts, not for winning an argument’s sake, but to really try to understand or even sensibly debate opposing views that might leave anyone reflecting on her words or challenge me to think differently. It’s the way she carries herself off with an aura of sophistication and enigmatic charm and no matter how much I might think I already know her or have her figured out, she’ll still surprise me with something unexpected. Good surprise. I like intellect. Personally, it takes a little more to intrigue me and stimulate my senses. If I can connect with someone and talk endlessly about the concept of nothing, then, only then, will we be able to talk about everything else.. and I think that’s incredibly alluring,”
    “Ooh.. so my best friend’s sapiosexual too,” she teased. “But what about her likes and dislikes or like her personality.. does that go under the mind aspect too?”

    “Well, that’s where the heart aspect comes in. The heart represents who she is by what she values or cares about. The things she likes, the things she dislikes. What really matters to her, as well as her insecurities and fears..”
    She bit her lower lip – thinking. “But what if him knowing about my past and all my insecurities scares him or drives him away? Or what if he ever uses all of these against me if someday things go bad between us?”
    “Erm.. you do realize that it doesn’t really matter now because whether or not he ever knew, he already chose to leave you right? But.. if he still or ever tries to hurt you in any way, then he is a fucking bastard and I will punch his face,”. I really meant it.
    “I don’t think he even cares about me anymore,” she sighed, “maybe he never really did.. we were so.. different. I don’t know why I never actually realize it before,”
    “Maybe because then, you were too ‘blinded by love’ to see, or you chose to conveniently ignore the differences. Honestly though, I think it’s critical for two people to understand each other’s heart and learn to accommodate each other’s differences rather than simply turning a blind eye or deaf ear ‘because I love him and that’s all that matters’. Because if two people are too different in the way they think, behave or live.. I reckon it will become a huge problem when the infatuation bubble bursts.”
    “I don’t really understand..” she said.
    “Let me just ask you this.. does he know how passionate you are towards the arts and music?”
    “Well, no.. not really. He’s more the sports kind of guy and doesn’t like theatre and stuff so I didn’t want him to get bored if I talked to him about things he isn’t interested in..”
    “Then i’m guessing he probably also doesn’t care or know the little things about you. Like how you’re afraid of the dark and why you’re actually scared of darkness.. how family and relationships are really important to you.. that ice cream is your happy pill. You know, I’m even going to bet that he doesn’t know you go to bed every night, clutching your phone just hoping and waiting for him to text you goodnight..”
    She started to tear again, but I continued..
    “You see, it’s not a matter of whether it bores him or not.. it’s a matter of whether he bothers or not. I mean, if he doesn’t even know these things about you, then he really doesn’t know you at all. How then can he say he loves you?”
    “But I really loved him,” she murmured softly to herself .
    “I know you did. I know you still do and it’s hurting you like shit. But you need to know that for any kind of relationship to work.. two people need to give and take. Sadly, with him, it seems like you’re the one who was always giving. If he actually really loved you back as much, he’d make a greater effort to close the gap and bridge the differences between you two. He’d want to hear what you have to say, he would actually consider your opinions, your needs and your feelings. He’ll not just tell you or text you that he loves you.. he’ll show it by the things he will do or be willing to do no matter how inconvenient or silly it might be, just because.. he knows it’ll make you happier or better. To me, when it comes to a relationship, the heart aspect isn’t just a feeling or who you/he or she is anymore. It becomes two hearts beating as one. Two people wanting to understand each other.. sharing the good, the bad and possibly a future together; actually bothering and supporting each other’s feelings, values, dreams, thoughts, emotions,”
    She stayed silent for a long while before she looked up, holding my gaze.. there was this unspoken tension building before she finally spoke again.
    “But.. what if something that’s important to me, is not something the guy might feel same way about?”
    “Then I’ll try-” I caught myself. “I mean, if I were him. I’d try. I’d make the effort.. because it’s important to you and you’re important to me,”
    She remained silent again. She wasn’t crying anymore but this time, the prolonged silence was starting to grow even more deafening.
    “Matt,” she finally spoke – softly, “do you believe in love at first sight?”
    “No.” I said flatly.
    “Oh..” she sighed. “You know what you said about mind and heart.. it’s actually starting to sink in and I’m beginning to realize that maybe these two aspects weren’t exactly a big part of my relationship with him,”
    “So what made you fall in love with him then?”
    “Well.. don’t laugh, but I’ve always thought that with him, it was love at first sight. I mean, there was just this spark between us from the very first time we met,”
    “Cos he was hot?” I scoffed.
    “No.. don’t be an idiot,” she tried to hide her smile but failed. I rolled my eyes. “Okay fine, yea maybe that. But it wasn’t the only reason!”
    I raised an eyebrow.
    “He was really nice too! And he was always sweet to me,“ she began her defense case. “He always made me feel happy, secure and loved without even having to try, you know?” I just continued staring at her waiting for her to go on. “Oh never mind, you’d never understand..”
    “Actually.. I do. And I think I now understand what it was that made you fall in love with him.

    The body aspect.
    The body aspect is about physical attraction, intimacy and presence. I don’t believe in love at first sight. I don’t believe you can just “instantly know” you’re in love or that someone’s THE one just by “first sight”. No offense, but I think the whole love at first sight concept is bullshit that only exists in movies and fairy tales. In reality, it isn’t love. That very first attraction.. is probably lust. Lust at first sight”.
    “What nonsense! It’s not like I was lusting over him from the very first time I laid eyes on him! Maybe it’s the case for guys.. I mean, sex is always on a guy’s mind whenever he meets a girl right? But it’s different for girls, Matt..” she protested.
    “Okay. You know what.. since you brought up the age-old guys and sex debate, I’ll tell you this secret to clarify something about guys for the first and last time.. probably 99% of guys are naturally sexual. If you ever meet any guy who tells you he isn’t sexual at all, it’s not that he’s gay – no, gays are even more horny .. he’s likely to be a liar and you should be more wary of him. BUT! Here’s the thing.. even though guys are sexual by nature, it isn’t always the only or most important thing to a guy,”
    “Really?” now she raised her eyebrow with that annoying smirk on her face.
    “Oh come on, you girls know how it is, plus you aren’t exactly saint-like innocent either.. sometimes you see a hot guy and you start fantasizing or making statements like ‘omg have my babies’..”
    “That…” she started blushing.
    “That.. is exactly my point. It’s the same with guys. We might talk and think about sex a lot more openly than girls but it isn’t always the only thing on our mind. When I said it’s lust at first sight.. I didn’t literally mean you want the guy naked and in bed. What I meant is the momentary attraction or desire– he might be hot, he might be charming, he might have smiled at you that made you feel a certain way.. but that’s not love. That’s really just a superficial physical attraction. Saying “I’m in love” right there and then just completely takes the special meaning out of the word ‘love’. If you ask me, I personally think the process of loving or falling in love with someone involves discovering the person and then perhaps developing feelings. It could happen quickly or over a longer period of time, but not at first sight,”
    “Hmm.. that does make sense,” she paused and then her lips curled up forming that annoying smirk again.
    “Oh wow, this is the first time you and I are talking about sex huh..”.
    “You never asked..”
    “Tell me then.. what is sex to you?”
    “Sex.. to me, is merely a physical act. I am not part of the whole “sex is sacred/taboo” camp but then, I don’t take sides with the whole bed hopping culture either,”
    “I can’t believe you just said that sex is merely a physical act..” she began in a disappointed tone.
    “But sex really is just a physical act if it’s without emotions or feelings. And that is why I distinguish between sex and making love, the same way I clearly differentiate ‘loving’ and ‘being in love’ with someone,”
    “Oh.” this time, she smiled. She understood.
    “Don’t get me wrong.. I think physical intimacy is very important in a relationship but for me, the one physical aspect that matters the most.. is the physical presence. That, is also what I reckon made you fall in love with him.
    “Okay this, I really want to know…” she said.
    “The physical presence is simply being there. You want him to be with you. You want to be there for him. Because just being there with or for each other makes your day, or you as a person, a little better. You may act or behave a little different when you’re with him, but in a good way – in a way that you actually feel completely comfortable, safe and you. Perhaps even without you knowing, you smile more and laugh harder. You feel real, genuine joy. And even on days when the smile can’t happen, you know you don’t have to pretend to be okay or be self conscious in front of him; because its perfectly okay to be the way you are and feel when you’re with him. He cares about you and you feel loved when you’re with him. Sometimes, there are no need for words or explanations.. just his presence, him being there for you, holding you.. makes you feel better or believe that it’s going to be okay again. Because you’re not just holding on to someone for attention or sympathy.. you actually feel and believe that you’re holding on to a part of or the rest of your life..”

    Which leads to the fourth aspect – soul.
    The soul aspect to me, is the deepest form and the final affirmation that should answer any remaining doubt or questions as to whether we’ve truly fallen in love with a person.
    It’s when you start noticing but still appreciate all the other little things, even the flaws – especially the flaws. It’s when you truly know a person stripped down of all their walls, exposed to their soul and yet still accept and love him or her. It’s a level of understanding and acceptance that goes beyond the “honeymoon everything is perfect” period.
    It’s when you finally realize this one person is someone you can always and want to tell everything to, and you want to ask and know everything of him or her as well. It’s when you actually want to share your life and trust your secrets with this person; and you can. This someone is the first person you think of when you’re happy, sad or when something significant happens. This same person is someone you can call at 1am in the morning and they’d drop everything to make time for you, staying by you till the sun rises or you’re better again – as you would for him or her as well. This person cares and will listen. Will really listen, giving you their undivided attention and genuine love; not necessarily every time but any time you need him or her. This one person makes your problem their problem and they go through it together with you just so you don’t have to go through the pain and tears alone,”
    It was at this moment, for the very first time, she looked at me in a different way but said nothing.
    “You see, the soul aspect..” I continued, “is when you start to see and want to share the rest of your life with this one other. And not in a clingy “I can’t live without you” way, but in a way that I can still live my life without you as I have before I met you, but now that you’ve come to exist in my life, I see the possibility of a life with you and now I actually want to make decisions and live a life, continuing to create more moments and memories together with you”.
    “Well.. so.. have you met this one person yet? I mean, I’m sure it’s almost impossible to find that ‘perfect’ girl who fulfills all of your four aspects of love right?” she mumbled. I could barely hear her. She wasn’t even looking at me anymore.
    “No, it is not impossible and I don’t think its asking for too much. You see the thing about these four aspects is, we often and will find one or two aspects in many different people. And that alone may be enough to make us attracted to them or develop a crush on them. But really, that is not love at all. If we like a person because “he’s cute” or “the way she thinks”, that’s just us liking the body and/or mind aspect of a person. The reality is, we are always going to meet many people who possess these different aspects of mind, heart, body or soul. But on a rare occasion when you do meet someone who possess all these four aspects.. you’ll almost definitely know that he or she is not one of many but may just be the one. So personally, I won’t settle for anything less unless she possess more than three qualities. You know people write the symbol of love as < 3 (less than three), I actually think love should be more than three.. I define it as 4+1. “
    “So what’s plus one?” she asked, still not looking at me.
    “Plus one…” I trailed off – unconsciously.
    “Matt?” she placed her hand on top of mine, finally looking me in eye again.
    “Plus one.. is something only the one who's meant to be will ever know and hold the answer to”.

    end.

  • Iri Hati

    Mengenai perasaan dan watak IRI Hati, ada sebuah kisah menarik buat direnungkan.
    Dalam sejarah Yunani ada cerita tentang seorang pemuda yang begitu menonjol dalam pertandingan-pertandingan sehingga rekan-rekan senegaranya mendirikan sebuah patung untuk menghormatinya dan mengenang kemenangan-kemenangannya.
    Patung itu menimbulkan rasa iri dalam hati salah seorang pesaingnya yang sudah pernah dikalahkannya dalam berbagai lomba, sehingga pada suatu malam dia menyusup dalam kegelapan untuk merusak patung itu.
    Mula-mula dia hanya menyayat patung itu; setelah itu dia menarik patung itu sehingga rubuh – persis menimpa dirinya… dan membunuhnya.
    —
    Rasa iri itu selalu membahayakan orang yang memupuknya. ~Tonne

  • Renungan Harian 15 November 2012

    Renungan oleh Romo Ign Sumarya SJ – 15 nov:

    “Ia harus menanggung banyak penderitaan dahulu dan ditolak oleh angkatan ini”
    (Flm 7-20; Luk 17:20-25)

    ” Atas pertanyaan orang-orang Farisi, apabila Kerajaan Allah akan datang, Yesus menjawab, kata-Nya: “Kerajaan Allah datang tanpa tanda-tanda lahiriah, juga orang tidak dapat mengatakan: Lihat, ia ada di sini atau ia ada di sana! Sebab sesungguhnya Kerajaan
    Allah ada di antara kamu.” Dan Ia berkata kepada murid-murid-Nya: “Akan datang waktunya kamu ingin
    melihat satu dari pada hari-hari Anak Manusia itu dan kamu tidak akan melihatnya. Dan orang akan berkata kepadamu: Lihat, ia ada di sana; lihat, ia ada di sini! Jangan kamu pergi ke situ, jangan kamu ikut. Sebab sama seperti kilat memancar dari ujung langit yang
    satu ke ujung langit yang lain, demikian pulalah kelak halnya Anak Manusia pada hari kedatangan-Nya. Tetapi Ia harus menanggung banyak penderitaan dahulu dan ditolak oleh angkatan ini” (Luk 17:20-25), demikian kutipan Warta Gembira hari ini.

    Berefleksi atas bacaan-bacaan hari ini saya sampaikan catatan-catatan sederhana sebagai berikut:
    · Kerajaan Allah berarti Allah yang meraja atau menguasai. Kapan Allah sungguh merajai atau
    menguasai kita, umat beriman? Allah sungguh merajai atau menguasai kita tidak lain adalah ketika kita hidup baik, bermoral dan berbudi pekerti luhur. Pada masa kini hemat saya hidup baik, bermoral dan berbudi pekerti luhur akan menghadapi banyak masalah, tantangan dan hambatan, mengingat dan
    memperhatikan kemerosotan moral menjiwai hampir semua bidang kehidupan bersama di tengah masyarakat. “Sesungguhnya Kerajaan Allah ada di antara kamu”, demikian sabda Yesus. Memang di antara kita pasti ada orang-orang yang sungguh baik, bermoral atau berbudi pekerti luhur, demikian pula kami percaya bahwa dalam diri pribadi kita masing-masing ada kehendak baik. Maka marilah kita sharingkan kehendak baik kita kepada saudara-saudari kita serta kemudian kita sinerjikan sehingga ada satu kehendak baik milik bersama-sama untuk selanjutnya diwujudkan bersama-sama. Jika dalam kebersamaan kita pasti mampu mengatasi aneka hambatan, masalah dan tantangan, dan tentu saja kita semua harus siap sedia untuk berkorban dan berjuang, yang mungkin disertai oleh aneka penderitaan. Tak pernah ada perjuangan tanpa pengorbanan dan penderitaan.
    Perhatikan para atlit atau olahragawan yang sukses:
    bukankah mereka sungguh berjuang dengan pengorbanan dan penderitaan. Kami berharap, sekali
    lagi kami tujukan atau arahkan kepada para orangtua:
    janganlah memanjakan anak-anak anda, melainkan sedini mungkin pelan-pelan, berproses perkenalkan dan didik anak-anak bahwa untuk hidup baik,
    sejahtera, bahagia dan selamat orang harus berjuang dengan pengorbanan dan penderitaan. “Berakit-rakit ke hulu, berenang-renang ke tepian, bersakit-sakit
    dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian”, begitulak kata sebuah pepatah yang selayaknya menjadi acuan hidup kita: bekerja keras dahulu baru gajian.

    · “Dari kasihmu sudah kuperoleh kegembiraan besar dan kekuatan, sebab hati orang-orang kudus telah kauhiburkan, saudaraku. Karena itu, sekalipun di dalam Kristus aku mempunyai kebebasan penuh untuk memerintahkan kepadamu apa yang harus engkau lakukan,tetapi mengingat kasihmu itu, lebih baik aku memintanya dari padamu. Aku, Paulus, yang sudah menjadi tua, lagipula sekarang dipenjarakan karena Kristus Yesus, mengajukan permintaan kepadamu mengenai anakku yang kudapat selagi aku dalam penjara, yakni Onesimus — dahulu memang dia tidak berguna bagimu, tetapi sekarang sangat berguna baik bagimu maupun bagiku.” (Flm 7-11). Onesimus adalah sesuatu yang berguna, menguntungkan dan bermanfaat. Yang dimaksudkan dalam kutipan di atas ini antara lain adalah Kitab Suci atau sabda-sabda Tuhan. Selama berada dalam penjara karena Kristus Yesus, Paulus tidak tinggal diam, melainkan tetap giat dan rajin membaca dan merenungkan apa yang tertulis di dalam Kitab Suci (dalam kesendirian tanpa diganggu orang sungguh merupakan kesempatan untuk secara pribadi bertemu dengan Tuhan). Maka marilah di Tahun Iman ini kita tingkatkan dan perdalam dalam hal membaca dan merenungkan apa yang tertulis di dalam Kitab Suci. Kita semua kiranya mendambakan keuntungan terus menerus dalam hidup dan bekerja, tetapi lebih dalam hal keselamatan jiwa. Jika kita sungguh mendambakan keuntungan terkait dengan keselamatan jiwa kita, maka jangan melupakan hidup rohani atau doa setiap hari, dan tentu saja kapan pun dan dimana pun senantiasa melakukan apa yang baik, menyelamatkan dan membahagiakan, terutama keselamatan atau kebahagiaan jiwa manusia. Akan menjadi kegembiraan besar dan tak akan mudah terlupakan jika apa yang kita lakukan sungguh menyelamatkan jiwa kita sendiri maupun jiwa orang lain yang kena dampak hidup dan kerja kita.

    “Yang menegakkan keadilan untuk orang-orang yang diperas, yang memberi roti kepada orang-orang yang lapar. TUHAN membebaskan orang-orang yang terkurung, TUHAN membuka mata orang-orang buta, TUHAN menegakkan orang yang tertunduk, TUHAN
    mengasihi orang-orang benar. TUHAN menjaga orang-orang asing, anak yatim dan janda ditegakkan-Nya kembali, tetapi jalan orang fasik dibengkokkan-Ny
    a.TUHAN itu Raja untuk selama-lamanya, Allahmu, ya Sion, turun-temurun! Haleluya” (Mzm 146:7-10)

  • Renungan Harian Senin 12 November 2012

    Renungan oleh Romo Ign Sumarya SJ – 12 nov:

    “Jagalah dirimu!”
    (Tit 1:1-9; Luk 17:1-6)

    “Yesus berkata kepada murid-murid-Nya: “Tidak mungkin tidak akan ada penyesatan, tetapi celakalah orang yang mengadakannya. Adalah lebih baik baginya jika sebuah batu kilangan diikatkan pada lehernya, lalu ia dilemparkan ke dalam laut, dari pada menyesatkan salah satu dari orang-orang yang lemah ini. Jagalah dirimu! Jikalau saudaramu berbuat dosa, tegorlah dia, dan jikalau ia menyesal, ampunilah dia. Bahkan jikalau ia berbuat dosa terhadap engkau tujuh kali sehari dan tujuh kali ia kembali kepadamu dan berkata: Aku menyesal, engkau harus mengampuni dia.” Lalu kata rasul-rasul itu kepada Tuhan: “Tambahkanlah iman kami!” Jawab Tuhan: “Kalau sekiranya kamu mempunyai iman sebesar biji sesawi saja, kamu dapat berkata kepada pohon ara ini: Terbantunlah engkau dan tertanamlah di dalam laut, dan ia akan taat kepadamu.” (Luk 17:1-6), demikian kutipan Warta Gembira hari ini

    Berefleksi atas bacaan-bacaan serta mengenangkan pesta St.Yosafat, Uskup dan Martir, hari ini saya sampaikan catatan-catatan sederhana sebagai berikut:
    Orang yang tak dapat menjaga atau mengurus dirinya dengan baik dan benar pasti tak mungkin atau tak dapat menjaga atau mengurus orang lain. Dengan kata lain orang yang tak dapat mengurus atau menjaga dirinya akan menjadi batu sandungan bagi orang lain melakukan dosa atau tindak kejahatan. Sabda hari ini mengajak dan mengingatkan kita semua agar dalam hidup sehari-hari tidak menjadi batu sandungan bagi orang lain serta dengan rela dan besar hati mengampuni siapapun yang menyalahi atau menyakiti kita alias berdosa. Pertama-tama kami mengajak dan mengingatkan kita semua di dalam Tahun iman ini hendaknya kita sungguh menjaga dan mengurus iman kita sebaik mungkin. Secara khusus kepada para gembala atau pelayan umat kami harapkan dapat menjadi contoh atau teladan dalam penghayatan iman.

    Memang setia pada iman pada masa kini sungguh merupakan bentuk penghayatan rahmat kemartiran, mengingat dan memperhatikan kemerosotan moral terjadi di sana-sini dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Menjadi saksi kasih pengampunan pada masa kini kiranya juga merupakan salah satu bentuk penghayatan rahmat kemartiran, mengingat dan
    memperhatikan bahwa banyak orang lebih suka balas dendam ketika dirinya disakiti atau dipersulit hidupnya. Yesus mengingatkan bahwa jika kita
    memiliki iman sekecil ‘biji sesawi’ saja kita dapat melakukan sesuatu yang luar biasa, termasuk menjadi
    saksi iman dalam kondisi dan situasi apapun serta mengampuni mereka yang menyalahi atau menyakiti kita. Marilah kita hidup saling mengampuni sebagai
    perwujudan iman kita kepada Tuhan, yang senantiasa mengampuni kesalahan dan dosa-dosa kita.

    “Aku telah meninggalkan engkau di Kreta dengan maksud ini, supaya engkau mengatur apa yang masih perlu diatur dan supaya engkau menetapkan penatua-penatua di setiap kota, seperti yang telah kupesankan kepadamu,yakni orang-orang yang tak bercacat, yang mempunyai hanya satu isteri, yang anak-anaknya hidup beriman dan tidak dapat dituduh karena hidup tidak senonoh atau hidup tidak tertib.Sebab sebagai pengatur rumah Allah seorang penilik jemaat harus tidak bercacat, tidak angkuh, bukan pemberang, bukan peminum, bukan pemarah, tidak serakah,melainkan suka memberi tumpangan, suka akan yang baik, bijaksana, adil, saleh, dapat menguasai diri dan berpegang kepada perkataan yang benar, yang sesuai dengan ajaran yang sehat, supaya ia sanggup menasihati orang berdasarkan ajaran itu dan sanggup meyakinkan penentang-penentangnya” (Tit 1:5-9).

    Kutipan di atas ini kiranya baik menjadi permenungan atau refleksi bagi para pelayan atau gembala umat, yaitu hendaknya “tidak bercacat, tidak angkuh, buka
    pemberang, bukan peminum, bukan pemarah, tidak serakah, melainkan suka memberi tumpangan, suka akan yang baik, bijaksana, adil, saleh, dapat menguasai diri dan berpegang kepada perkataan yang benar”. Dari hal-hal yang bersifat negatif di atas kiranya yang baik diusahakan pada masa kini adalah ‘bukan pemarah dan tidak serakah’, dengan kata lain senantiasa hidup dan bertindak dengan rendah hati
    dan sederhana. Jika dapat rendah hati dan sederhana maka pasti suka memberi tumpangan, yang baik, bijaksana, adil, saleh dan dapat menguasai diri.

    Menguasai diri berarti mengendalikan diri dan ketika
    orang dapat menguasai diri maka sikap terhadap orang lain pasti akan melayani, sebaliknya jika orang tak dapat menguasai diri maka sikap terhadap yang lain pasti menindas dan mencelakakan. Kesederhanaan dalam cara hidup dan cara bertindak para pelayan atau gembala umat sangat diharapkan. Maka jika ada pelayan atau gembala umat tidak hidup sederhana hendaknya umat tidak takut menegor dan mengingatkannya.

    “TUHANlah yang empunya bumi serta segala isinya, dan dunia serta yang diam di dalamnya. Sebab Dialah yang mendasarkannya di atas lautan dan menegakkannya di atas sungai-sungai.”Siapakah yang
    boleh naik ke atas gunung TUHAN? Siapakah yang boleh berdiri di tempat-Nya yang kudus?””Orang yang bersih tangannya dan murni hatinya, yang tidak menyerahkan dirinya kepada penipuan, dan yang tidak bersumpah palsu.” (Mzm 24:1-4)

    Ign 12 November 2012

  • Renungan Harian Minggu, 11 November 2012

    Renungan oleh Romo Ign Sumarya SJ :

    Mg Biasa XXXII : 1Raj 17:10-16; Ibr 9:24-28; Mrk 12:38-44

    “Aku berkata kepadamu, sesungguhnya janda miskin ini memberi lebih banyak dari pada semua orang yang memasukkan uang ke dalam peti persembahan.”

    Ketika saya ditahbiskan menjadi imam kurang lebih 29 tahun yang lalu, saya ditawari untuk mempersembahkan Perayaan Ekaristi pertama kali bagi umat paroki saya oleh pastor paroki. Saya ditawari untuk mempersembahkan di gereja induk, paroki Wedi, atau di kapel stasi Gondang, yang sekarang sudah menjadi paroki sendiri. Dan saya cenderung memilih di kapel stasi. Mendengar pilihan ini pastor paroki memberi penjelasan bahwa kondisi kapel stasi Gondang sedang amburadul karena sedang direnovasi. Mendengar penjelasan tersebut saya jawab bahwa tidak apa-apa, toh zaman Yesus dulu ketika mengadakan perjamuan malam terakhir juga di
    tempat yang sangat sederhana. Pilihan saya disetujui dan kemudian diinformasikan ke umat stasi Gondang pada umumnya dan secara khusus kepada umat
    wilayah Sumyang, desa asal saya. Sungguh pengalaman yang mengesan bahwa ketika umat
    wilayah mendengar hal itu, umat kemudian bergotong-royong untuk menyelesaikan renovasi kapel dalam waktu satu minggu (maklum mayoritas umat desa saya bekerja sebagai ‘tukang batu’, buruh bangunan, termasuk bapak saya). Mereka bergotong-royong dari pagi hari sampai malam, yang berarti mereka tidak bekerja selama seminggu, tidak memperoleh pendapatan selama seminggu. Bukankah mereka bagaikan janda miskin, yang dikisahkan dalam warta gembira hari ini, “yang memberi lebih banyak dari semua orang”. Maka kami mengajak anda sekalian untuk merenungkan sabda Yesus di bawah ini.

    “Aku berkata kepadamu, sesungguhnya janda miskin ini memberi lebih banyak dari pada semua orang yang memasukkan uang ke dalam peti persembahan. Sebab mereka semua memberi dari kelimpahannya, tetapi janda ini memberi dari kekurangannya, semua yang ada padanya, yaitu seluruh nafkahnya.” (Mrk 12:43-44)

    Persembahan kepada Tuhan dalam bentuk apapun merupakan symbol persembahan diri kepada Tuhan.
    Maka dengan ini kami mengingatkan dan mengajak
    anda sekalian untuk meneladan janda miskin di atas, yaitu bukan memberi persembahan dari kelebihan, melainkan dari kekurangan. Hanya memberi dari kelebihan hemat kami bagaikan membuang sampah, dengan kata lain memperlakukan si penerima pemberian sebagai ‘tempat sampah’ alias melecehkan atau merendahkan harkat martabat manusia, melanggar hak azasi manusia. Orang yang memberi persembahan atau sumbangan yang demikian itu berarti orang pelit dan tidak sosial. Orang yang bersikap mental ‘memberi dari kelimpahan’ pada umumnya ketika diberi tugas pekerjaan juga tak pernah selesai pada waktunya atau sekiranya selesai pasti selesai pada detik terakhir atau ‘deadline’. Sebagai orang beriman yang berarti mempersembahkan diri seutuhnya kepada Tuhan, marilah kita tanpa syarat sungguh mempersembahkan diri kepadaNya dalam atau melalui cara hidup dan cara bertindak kita sejak sadar bangun pagi sampai menjelang istirahat malam, bahkan selama istirahat atau tidur pun hendaknya juga pasrah diri sepenuhnya kepadaNya, sehingga dapat tidur nyenyak dan ketika bangun menjadi segar bugar.

    Kami berharap kepada orang-orang kaya akan harta benda dan uang tidak pelit dalam hal memberi sumbangan atau persembahan. Ingatlah dan hayati
    bahwa kekayaan anda tidak pernah terlepas dari orang-orang yang membantu anda dalam berkarya, misalnya para pegawai atau buruh, demikian juga peran konsumen produk usaha anda juga sangat membantu perolehan kekayaan atau uang anda. Sebagai contoh produk mie instant atau rokok, yang pada umumnya konsumennya adalah orang-orang miskin atau pedesaan dan pegunungan. Anda dapat menaikkan harga seenaknya dan para konsumen pun akan tetap membelinya. Maka ingatlah orang-orang miskin, pedesaan dan pegunungan. Demikian juga kami berharap kepada para pejabat atau petinggi pemerintahan, entah yang ada di badan legislatif,
    eksekutif, maupun yudikatif untuk mengingat dan menyadari bahwa anda harus melayani rakyat, dan gaji atau imbal jasa yang anda terima berasal dari
    pemasukan pajak, yang juga tak terlepas dari peran orang-orang miskin, pedesaan, pegunungan yang menjadi konsumen produk aneka usaha. Semoga anda
    yang duduk atau berkarya dalam pemerintahan tidak melakukan korupsi atau cari enaknya sendiri.

    “Elia berkata kepadanya: “Janganlah takut, pulanglah, buatlah seperti yang kaukatakan, tetapi buatlah lebih dahulu bagiku sepotong roti bundar kecil dari padanya, dan bawalah kepadaku, kemudian barulah kaubuat bagimu dan bagi anakmu. Sebab beginilah firman TUHAN, Allah Israel: Tepung dalam tempayan itu tidak akan habis dan minyak dalam buli-buli itu pun tidak akan berkurang sampai pada waktu TUHAN memberi hujan ke atas muka bumi.” Lalu pergilah perempuan itu dan berbuat seperti yang dikatakan Elia; maka perempuan itu dan dia serta anak perempuan itu mendapat makan beberapa waktu lamanya.Tepung dalam tempayan itu tidak habis dan minyak dalam buli-buli itu tidak berkurang seperti firman TUHAN yang diucapkan-Nya dengan perantaraan Elia.” (1Raj 17:13-16)

    Kutipan di atas ini kiranya dapat menjadi inspirasi bagi kita semua dalam hal memberi sumbangan atau persembahan atau dalam kehidupan bersama kita dengan siapapun dan dimana pun. Kita diharapkan senantiasa untuk mendahulukan orang lain maupun
    memperhatikan para pelayan umat atau gembala umat. Dalam hal ini kami percaya rekan-rekan ibu
    sebagai perempuan pasti memiliki pengalaman dalam hal mendahulukan yang lain, misalnya anak-anaknya, yang dianugerahkan oleh Tuhan. Saya pribadi memiliki pengalaman yang mengesan terhadap ibu atau
    ‘simbok’ saya, dimana ketika memperoleh rezeki berupa makanan senantiasa anak-anaknya yang pertama-tama harus menikmatinya atau mengkosumsi, dan jika perlu ibu saya sama sekali
    tidak mencicipinya alias berpuasa atau matiraga. Kepedulian atau kepekaan kepada yang lain kiranya
    perlu dididikkan atau dibiasakan pada anak-anak di dalam keluarga, sehingga ketika mereka tumbuh
    berkembang menjadi orang dewasa akan menjadi pribadi yang peduli atau peka terhadap orang lain. Jika dicermati dalam hidup sehari-hari kiranya harus diakui
    bahwa pembinaan kepedulian atau kepekaan kepada orang lain dalam diri anak-anak kurang memperoleh
    perhatian yang memadai, ada kecenderungan generasi muda masa kini bersikap mental egois, kurang atau tidak peduli pada orang lain maupun lingkungan hidupnya. Hal ini kami cermati juga di antara para seminaris di Seminari Menengah Mertoyudan. Ada kemungkinan hal ini disebabkan oleh korban keluarga berencana, yang difahami secara sempit yaitu pembatasan kelahiran: satu atau dua anak cukup. Jika dalam keluarga hanya ada satu atau dua anak pasti ada kecenderungan untuk memanjakan anak-anak dan kemudian anak-anak tumbuh berkembang menjadi orang yang egois.

    Memang pada masa lalu pada umumnya di dalam keluarga tidak hanya satu atau dua anak saja, tetapi empat atau lebih. Memang dalam hal memenuhi kebutuhan fisik atau financial sungguh berat dan penuh dengan tantangan, namun demikian ada suatu
    pengalaman menarik dan tak terlupakan, yaitu secara otomatis terjadi pembinaan kepedulian atau social pada diri anak-anak, antar kakak-adik. Pengalaman saling memperhatikan antar kakak-adik inilah yang kemudian akan menjadi modal untuk terus diperkembangkan dan diperdalam dalam kehidupan bersama yang lebih luas, di dalam masyarakat maupun tempat kerja.

    “Dan sama seperti manusia ditetapkan untuk mati hanya satu kali saja, dan sesudah itu dihakimi,demikian pula Kristus hanya satu kali saja mengorbankan diri-Nya untuk menanggung dosa
    banyak orang. Sesudah itu Ia akan menyatakan diri-Nya sekali lagi tanpa menanggung dosa untuk
    menganugerahkan keselamatan kepada mereka, yang menantikan Dia.” (Ibr 9:27-28).

    Kutipan ini kiranya dapat menjadi inspirasi bagi siapapun yang beriman kepada Yesus Kristus, yaitu “mengorbankan diri untuk menanggung dosa banyak orang”

    “Yang menegakkan keadilan untuk orang-orang yang diperas, yang memberi roti kepada orang-orang yang lapar. TUHAN membebaskan orang-orang yang terkurung, TUHAN membuka mata orang-orang buta, TUHAN menegakkan orang yang tertunduk, TUHAN
    mengasihi orang-orang benar. TUHAN menjaga orang-orang asing, anak yatim dan janda ditegakkan-Nya kembali, tetapi jalan orang fasik dibengkokkan-Nya. TUHAN itu Raja untuk selama-lamanya, Allahmu, ya
    Sion, turun-temurun! Haleluya” (Mzm 146:7-10)

    Ign 11 November 2012

  • Testimoni Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang (1972-2012)

    Aku mau bagikan testimoni dari Dr
    Richard, seorang dokter kaya yang terkena kanker, dan meninggal. Mohon maaf, testimonialnya dalam bahasa inggris.

    Ringkasan saja: Dr. Richard Teo Keng Siang adalah seorang ‘biasa’ yg berjuang, bekerja keras dan
    sukses luar biasa sebagai dokter kecantikan, kaya luar biasa. Di usia 40 tahun, single, dia punya segalanya: ketenaran, kekayaan, cakep dan dia rajin fitnes juga (6x seminggu/tiap hari). Waktu dia diajak ke gereja dia akan bilang: “saya sangat sibuk di pagi hari, suruh gereja itu undurkan kebaktiannya menjadi jam 2, baru saya datang”. Dia arogan sekali
    karena dia merasa punya uang, punya segalanya..

    Dia bilang begini: coba saja, apa yg Tuhan bisa. lakukan untuk membuat aku pergi ke gereja
    Maret 2012, dia lagi fitness, dia merasa gak enak di punggung, singkatnya (ntar baca yah) dia kena kanker stadium 4 langsung, dia kaget banget dan ga percaya. Pertama-tama dia menyangkal dan
    menyalahkan Tuhan, kenapa disaat2 TOP nya dia kok Tuhan beri itu. Akhirnya dia sadar, hanya itu 1-1nya cara Tuhan untuk membuat dia mengerti dan bersaksi.

    16 oct 2012 kemarin dia meninggal dunia di usia 40 tahun. Tapi kesaksiannya yang direkam
    dan disebarkan oleh teman2 ikatan dokter kristen di Singapore, menyadarkan banyak orang kalo uang tanpa Tuhan itu kosong, HIDUP TANPA TUHAN itu sia2.

    Recorded at the Dental Christian Fellowship , on 24 Nov 2011, 8 months after his diagnosis.

    Richard would have liked to share this with you. We are doing this to continue his work.

    Please have a read and leave it behind for someone else to benefit from his sharing.

    If you would like a copy, please let any of his family or close friends know and we will be able to provide both the audio recording as well as the transcript.

    Thank you, and may God bless you richly.

    Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer, sharing at a Dental Christian Fellowship Meeting. He would have liked to share this with you too.

    HIS BACKGROUND

    Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse from the chemotherapy, so please bear with me. I thought I’ll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I’m a friend of Danny’s, who invited me here.

    I’d just begin to say that I’m a typical product of today’s society. Before this, I was talking about how the media influences us etc. So I’m a typical product of what the media portrays. From young, I’ve always been under the influence and impression that to be happy, is to be successful. And to be successful, is to be wealthy. So I led my life according to this motto.

    Coming from a poor average family, back in those days, I was highly competitive, whether in sports, studies, leadership. I wanted it all. I’ve been there, done that. But at the end of the day, it’s still about money.

    So in my recent last years, I was a trainee in ophthalmology, but I was getting impatient, cos I had friends of mine who were going out into private practise, making tonnes of money. And there I was, stuck in a traineeship. So I said, ‘Enough, it’s getting too long.’ At that time, there was a surge in protégés of aesthetic medicine. I’m sure you’re aware, aesthetic medicine had peaked over the last few years, and I saw good money in there. So much so that I said, ‘Forget about ophthalmology, I’m gonna do aesthetic medicine.’ So that’s what I did.

    The truth is, nobody makes heroes out of the average GP in the neighbourhood. They don’t. They make heroes out of rich celebrities, politicians, rich and famous people. So I wanted to be one of these. I dived straight into aesthetic medicine. People were not willing to pay when I was doing locum back in those days. Anything more than $30, they would complain that “Wah, this lo kun (doctor) jing qwee (very expensive)”. They made noise and they were not happy. But the same people were willing to pay $10 000 for a liposuction. So I said, ‘Well, let’s stop healing the sick, I’m gonna become a beautician; a medically-trained beautician.’

    And that was what I did – liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgeries, you name it, we do it. It was very good money. My clinic, when we started off, waiting time was 1 week; 1 month; became 2 months; became 3 months. There was so much demand that people were literally queuing up to have aesthetic work done on them. Vain women – easy life!

    So the clinic grew. I was so overwhelmed, from 1 doctor, I employed 2, then 3, then 4 doctors, and carried on. Nothing is ever enough. I wanted more and more and more. So much so that we set up shop in Indonesia to lure all the Indonesian tai tai’s. We set up shop, set up a team of people there, to get more Indonesian patients to come in.

    So, things were doing well. I’m there, my time has arrived.

    Around some time in February last year, I said, ‘OK, I have so much spare cash, it’s time to get my first Ferrari. So there I was, getting ready for the deposit. ‘OK! There comes my first Ferrari!’ I was looking for land, to share with some of my friends. I have a banker friend who makes $5 million a year. So I thought, ‘Come, let’s come together. Let’s buy some land and build our houses.’

    I was at my prime, getting ready to enjoy. At the same time, my friend Danny had a revival. They were going back to church, some of my close friends. They told me, ‘Richard, come, join us, come back to church.’

    I have been a Christian for 20 years; I was baptised 20 years ago, but it was because it was fashionable to be a Christian then. All my friends were becoming Christians then. It was fashionable! I wanted to be baptised, so that when I filled in a form, I could put there “Christian” – feels good. In truth, I had never had a bible; I don’t know what the bible is all about.

    I went to church for a while, after some time, I got tired. I said it’s time to go to NUS, stop going to church. I had a lot more things to pursue in NUS – girls, studies, sports etc. After all, I had achieved all these things without God today, so who needs God? I myself can achieve anything I want.

    In my arrogance, I told them, “You know what? You go tell your pastor to change your sermon to 2pm. I will consider coming to church.” Such arrogance! And I said 1 statement in addition to that – till date, I don’t know I’ve regretted saying that – I told Danny and my friends, “If God really wanted me to come back to church, He will give me a sign.”. Lo and behold, 3 weeks later, I was back at church.

    THE DIAGNOSIS

    In March 2011, out of the blues – I was still running around, ‘cause I’m a gym freak and I always go to the gym training, running, swimming 6 days a week. I had some backache, and that’s all I had, but it was persistent. And so I went for an MRI to exclude prolapsed disc. And the day before I had my scan, I was still in the gym, lifting heavy weights, doing my squats. And the next day, they found that half my spine had bone marrow replacement. I said, “Woah, sorry, what’s that?”

    We had a PET scan the next day, and they diagnosed that I had terminal lung cancer, stage 4B. It had spread to the brain, half the spine, whole of my lungs were filled with tumour, liver, adrenals…

    I said, “Can’t be, I was just at the gym last night, what’s going on?” I’m sure you know how it feels – though I’m not sure if you know how it feels. One moment I was there at the peak, the next day, this news came and I was totally devastated. My whole world just turned upside down.

    I couldn’t accept it. I have a hundred relatives on both sides, my mom and my dad. 100 of them. And not a single one has cancer. To me, in my mind, I have good genes, I’m not supposed to be having this! Some of my relatives are heavy chain smokers. Why am I having lung cancer? I was in denial.

    HIS ENCOUNTER WITH GOD

    So the next day, I was still in a state of denial, still unable to accept what was going on. There I was lying in an operating theatre in a hospital, for a needle biopsy (for histology). There I was, just completed the biopsy, and lying in the operating theatre. The nurses and doctors had left; told me I had to wait for 15 minutes to do a check X-ray to make sure there’s no pneumothorax (a complication).

    And there I was, lying on the operating table, staring blankly at the ceiling in a cold, quiet operating theatre. Suddenly I just heard an inner voice; it was not like coming from outside. It was inside. This small inner voice that I had never felt before. And it said very specifically, it said, “This has to happen to you, at your prime, because it’s the only way you can understand.”

    I said, “Woah, why did that come from?” You know, when you speak to yourself, you’d say, “OK, what time should I leave this place? Where shall I have dinner after this?” You’d speak from a first person point of view. You don’t say, “Where should YOU go after this?” Whereas the voice that came spoke as a third party. It said, “This has to happen to YOU, at YOUR prime, because this is the only way YOU can understand.” At that time, my emotions just overflowed and I broke down and cried, alone there. And I knew then, subsequently, what it means to understand that why this is the only way.

    Because I had been so proud of myself, my whole life, I needed nobody else. I was gifted with things that I could do, why do I need anybody else? I was just so full of myself that there was no other way I could have turned back to God.

    In fact, if I were diagnosed with stage 1 or 2, I would have been looking around busily for the best cardiothoracic surgeon, remove a section of the lobe (do a lobectomy), do preventive chemotherapy…The chances of it being cured is extremely high. Who needs God? But I had stage 4B. No man can help, only God can.

    A series of events happened after that. I wasn’t sold after that, because of the inner voice, I became believing, prayers, all that. No I wasn’t. To me, it was just ‘maybe there was a voice; or maybe that was just me talking to myself.’ I didn’t buy the story.

    What happened next was that I was being prepared for chemotherapy. I started off with a whole brain radiation therapy first; takes about 2 -3 weeks. In the meantime they prepared me for chemotherapy, supplements etc. One of the things they used for chemo was a thing called Zometa. Zometa – they use it to strengthen the bones; once the bone marrow (replacement) is cured of cancer cells, it becomes hollow, so we need Zometa to strengthen the bone to prevent compression fractures.

    One of the side effects of Zometa is that it can cause osteonecrosis (bone death) of the jaw, and I had to have my wisdom teeth removed. Years ago, I had my upper wisdom teeth removed, cos it was giving me trouble. The lower ones didn’t give me trouble so I said, “Forget it, just leave it.” So of cause, Danny volunteered to remove it for me.

    So there I was, lying there in a dental chair, asking myself, suffering all the side effects of radiotherapy, and now I have to go through wisdom tooth surgery. As if I’ve not had enough to suffer! So I asked Danny, “Eh, bro, is there any other way? Can I not go though this?” He said, “Yes, you can pray.”

    I said, “What’s there to lose? Ok lah, pray lah!” And so we prayed. And we did an X-ray after that. Everything was all there, all the appliances and everything. And lo and behold, the Xray showed that there was no wisdom teeth in the lower jaw. I know most people have 4 wisdom teeth, maybe some have none, but to be missing one or 2, as I understand – I’m not too sure, as I understand – is not that common.

    Still I was, “Nah, I don’t care about that.” To me, as long as I didn’t have to take out the tooth, I was happy. At that point, I still wasn’t sold on prayers. Maybe it was just a coincidence – for whatever it’s worth.

    I continued meeting my oncologist, asking him, “How long do I have?” I asked him. He said, not more than 6 months. I said, “Even with chemotherapy?” About 3 – 4 months, he said.

    I couldn’t grasp that. It was difficult to come to terms. And even as I went through radiotherapy, I was struggling everyday, especially when I wake up, hoping that it’s just a nightmare; when I wake up, it’s all over.

    As I was struggling, day after day, I went into depression, which is the typical denial, depression blah blah blah that you go through. But for 1 reason, I don’t know why, there was this specific day that I was supposed to meet my oncologist. At about 2pm, I felt this sudden surge of peace, comfort, and in fact, a little happiness. It was just overflowing. For no rhyme or reason, it just came about 2pm, as I was getting ready, dressing up to meet my oncologist. So much so that I whats-apped all my friends that, “Bros, I just feel so good suddenly! I don’t know why, it just came!”

    And it was only days, or was it weeks after, that Danny revealed to me that he had fasted for 2 days for me, and he was bargaining with God, and fasted for 2 dyas, and he ended his fast at that exact same point, about 2pm thereabouts, that this surge of sensation came to me for no rhyme or reason. And I didn’t know that he was fasting for me. And when he ended the fast, I felt that sensation!

    Whoa, things were getting a bit too coincidental. I was starting to buy a bit of the story, but still I wasn’t sold. As days passed by, I completed my radiotherapy, about 2 weeks plus. Getting ready for chemo, so they let me rest for a few days.

    See, the mortality rate of lung cancer : Lung cancer has the highest mortality rate. If you add up breast, colorectal (colon) cancer, and prostate cancer (the top few cancers in Singapore for men and women), if you add up the mortality rate of these 3, it still doesn’t add up to lung cancer. Simply because, you understand, you can remove the prostate, the colon, the breast, but you cannot remove your lungs.

    But there’s about 10% of lung cancer patients who do pretty well for some reasons, because they have this specific mutation; we call it the EGFR mutation. And it happens, only 90% of the time, in Asian ladies who never smoked in their lives. Me, first of all, I’m male. 2ndly, I’m a social smoker. I take one a day after dinner; weekends, when my friends offer me, I take it as well. I’m a light smoker, not a social smoker. But still, my oncologist was still not hopeful for me to have this mutation.

    The chances of it happening for me was maybe 3-4% for me to get it. That’s why I was being primed to go for chemo. But through all the intense prayers, friends like Danny, people that I don’t even know, it turned out that, during my waiting for chemo, the results came back that I was EGFR positive. I was like, “Woah, good news!” Cos now I don’t have to undergo chemo at that time, because there’s this oral tablet that you can use to control this disease.

    Just to share with you some idea – this is a CT scan – thorax – of my lungs, before treatment.

    AFTER BEFORE

    Every single dot there is a tumour. You can see all the mets (metastasis) there. This is just one single plane. Literally I had it in both lungs, and I had literally tens of thousands of tumour. That’s why the oncologist told me, even with chemo, at most 3-4 months.

    But because of this mutation, they have this oral medication. This is what happened after 2 months of treatment. As you can see over here; this is what God can do. And that’s why I’m still here having this opportunity to share with you. As you can see over here, the difference between before and after treatment.

    At that point, I said, “Well, it’s to be expected, isn’t it? The medicine is good.” I’m still not buying the story. Well, the guys prayed for me and the tumour markers started to come down. 90% of the tumours were wiped out, and the tumour markers came down to more than 90% over the next few months.

    But still, you know, once you have the clinical knowledge, you know the statistics. One year survival, two year survival; having all this knowledge is not a good thing. Cos you live with the knowledge that even with all this, the cancer cells are so unstable, they keep mutating. They will overcome and become resistant to the drugs, and eventually you’re gonna run out of medication.

    So living with this knowledge is a huge mental struggle, a huge mental torture. Cancer is not just about a physical struggle, it’s a huge mental torture. How do you live with no hope? How do you live with not being able to plan for the next few years? The oncologist tells you to bear with it for the next 1 – 2 months. So it’s a lot of struggles as I went through: March, then April. April was my lowest point, in deep depression, struggling even as I was recovering.

    HIS ACCEPTANCE & PEACE

    And one of those days, I was there in bed, struggling in the afternoon, asking God, “Why? Why do I have to go through this suffering? Why do I have to endure this hardship, this struggle? Why me?”

    As I fell asleep, in my dreamy state, a vision just came, that says Hebrews 12:7-8.

    Now mind you, at this time, I had not read the bible. I have no clue what’s Hebrews, I don’t even know how many chapters there are. Totally clueless.

    But it says Hebrews 12:7-8, very specifically.

    I didn’t think too much of it. I just continued sleeping. Then I woke up, and I said, “What’s there to lose? I’d just check it out lah!” Danny had bought me a bible; it’s still quite new. I said, “It’s ok, just try.” So I flipped to the Old Testament. Hebrews to me sounds like something ancient, so it should be in the Old Testament right? So I flipped through the Old Testament. No Hebrews there. I was so disappointed.

    Then I said, “Maybe New Testament, let’s have a look!”. WOW – New Testament, there’s Hebrew’s!! It says Hebrews 12:7-8. It says, “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His children.”

    I said, “WAH!! Where did that come from?” I was getting goose pimples all over my body. I said, “This can’t be, right?” I mean, what’s the chance of somebody, who has never read the bible, to have a vision of a chapter of a specific verse, that answers my question directly?

    I think God called to me directly as I was there sleeping, struggling with it, asking God, “Why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to suffer this?” And God says “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His child.”

    At this point, the chance of that happening is even lesser than my EGFR being positive. There’s just no way; there’s so many millions of thousands of verses in the bible, how can I just conjure up something like that?

    So at that point, I was sold I said, “YOU WIN! YOU WIN!!”

    Ok , I was convinced. And so from that day onwards, I started believing in my God. And the last time I heard that inner voice was the end of April. And that inner voice, same thing, in the afternoon, as I was sleeping (this time I wasn’t struggling, just going to sleep). In a dreamy state I just heard Him say, “Help others in hardship.”

    It was more like a command, rather than a statement. And that’s when I embarked on this journey, helping others in hardship. And I realised that hardship is not just about being poor. In fact, I think a lot of poor people are probably happier than a lot of us here. They are so easily contented with whatever they have, they’re probably pretty happy.

    Hardship can happen to rich people; it can be physical hardship, mental hardship, social, etc. And also over the last few months, I started to understand what this true joy is about. In the past, I substituted true joy with the pursuing of wealth. I thought true joy is about pursuing wealth. Why? Cos let me put it to you this way, in my death bed, I found no joy whatsoever in whatever objects I had – my Ferrari, thinking of the land I was going to buy to build my bungalow etc, having a successful business.

    It brought me ZERO comfort, ZERO joy, nothing at all. Do you think I can hold onto this piece of metal and it’s going to give true joy? Nah, it’s not going to happen.

    True joy comes from interaction with other people. And at a lot of times, it is a short term pride, the past. When you pursue your wealth, Chinese New Year is the best time to do it. Drive my Ferrari, show off to my relatives, show off to my friends, do my rounds, and then you thought that was true joy? You really think that those guys who sold you your Ferrari, they share their joy with you? And your relatives, wow, they share this joy with you? In truth, what you have done is just to illicit envy, jealousy, and even hatred. They are not sharing the joy with you, and what I have is that short-term pride that wow, I have something you don’t have! And I thought that was joy!

    So what we have is basically a short-term pride at the expense of somebody else. And that wasn’t true joy. And I found no joy at all on my deathbed, thinking of my Ferrari – to hold on to it, sayang it?!?

    True joy I discovered comes from interaction. Over the last few months I was so down. Interaction with my loved ones, my friends, my brothers in Christ, my sisters in Christ, and only then was I able to be motivated, able to be uplifted. To share your sorrow, to share your happiness – that’s true joy.

    And you know what makes you smile? True joy comes from helping others in hardship, and because I’ve gone through this, I know what hardship entails. In fact, there’re some cancer patients who tell me a lot of times, people come up to them and tell them, “Stay positive. Stay positive.” Yah, right. You come in my shoes and you try to stay positive! You don’t know what you’re talking about!

    But I have the licence. So I’ve been going out to meet other fellow cancer patients, to share with them, encourage them. And I know, because I’ve been through it, and it’s easier for me to talk to them.

    And most importantly, I think true joy comes from knowing God. Not knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and know about God – but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with God. I think that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.

    So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive, even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened, it gave me a chance to come back to God.

    Few things I’d learnt though:
    1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important.
    2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.

    There is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s absolutely alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with good wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth. It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.

    We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further ourselves.

    Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know that wealth without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up the wealth, as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all, you need to fill it up with the wealth of God.

    I think that’s about it. It’s good to share. Thanks.

    Artikel Asal

  • Asal-Usul Perayaan Halloween Menurut Gereja Katolik

    TRICK OR TREAT!!!!

    Ketika penghujung Oktober tiba, banyak orang di berbagai negara di belahan bumi, sibuk menghias diri dengan berbagai macam kostum. Ada kostum malaikat, bentuk-bentuk hantu yang muncul dari budaya lokal, Banyak rumah dihias dengan berbagai bentuk. Yang paling diingat adalah –setidaknya di kawasan Amerika – adalah “Jack-O-Lantern”, labu
    kuning menyala dengan mulut menyeringai –dan tentu saja kumpulan anak kecil dengan kostum serba aneh yang menagih permen, trick or treat!!! Yup, it’s
    Halloween!!!

    Walaupun di Indonesia mungkin paling banter hanya dirasakan di kawasan-kawasan tertentu kota-kota besar –dan paling hanya dalam bentuk kemeriahan pesta kostum –tidak bisa dipungkiri bahwa liburan Halloween telah menyedot arus konsumerisme, seperti halnya Natal. Apa sebenarnya Halloween itu?

    Halloween berasal dari kata Hallow’s eve. Hallow adalah kata bahasa Inggris kuno untuk “Saint”. Maka Hallow’s eve adalah malam para orang kudus. Hal ini dikarenakan pada tanggal 1 November, umat Katolik di seluruh dunia merayakan Hari Raya Semua Orang Kudus, dimana Gereja Katolik secara khusus menghormati semua orang kudus baik mereka yang “terdaftar”(di-kanonisasi) maupun yang tidak.
    (Sedangkan sehari setelahnya, pada tanggal 2 November, seluruh Gereja Katolik memperingati
    Peringatan Arwah Semua Orang Beriman/All Souls Day).

    Asal usul Hari Raya Orang Kudus sendiri dalam Gereja Katolik memiliki kisah yang panjang. Sampai pada abad ke-9, Gereja Katolik merayakan Hari Raya Orang Kudus pada tanggal 13 Mei, dalam suasana sukacita Paskah. Dalam terang iman ini, Gereja Katolik melihat bahwa para martir adalah sungguh-sungguh merupakan teladan dan sumber inspirasi. Hari Raya Orang Kudus/Solemnity of All Saints adalah suatu hari raya meriah untuk menghormati para kudus yang ada
    di surga. Adalah Paus Gregorius III yang kemudian menggeser tanggal tersebut menjadi tanggal 1 November untuk Gereja di Roma, Penetapan tanggal ini kemudian disebarluaskan ke seluruh Gereja Katolik di dunia oleh Paus Gregorius IV.

    Lalu bagaimana dengan arwah umat beriman? Selama seribu tahun era awal kekristenan, tidak pernah ada hari khusus untuk mengenang arwah orang yang
    meninggal. Namun hingga abad ke-7, banyak biara yang menyelenggarakan Misa Arwah tahunan bagi para arwah. Gagasan penyelenggaraan tahunan ini akhirnya mengakar juga di lapisan umat di luar biara. Sekitar tahun 1048, seorang abbas (kepala biara) menggagas tanggal 2 November, sebagai hari
    peringatan arwah. Tanggal ini dipilih untuk menegaskan bahwa dalam ajaran Katolik, hubungan
    antara orang kudus di surga (Gereja Jaya), para arwah yang menanti surga dalam api penyucian (Gereja Menderita), dan umat yang masih mengembara dunia (Gereja Peziarah), tidak pernah terputus, berdasarkan ikatan Roh Kudus dalam apa yang disebut oleh Gereja Katolik sebagai “Tubuh Mistik Kristus”.

    Ketika tanggal 2 November kemudian ditetapkan Gereja Katolik sebagai hari Peringatan Arwah Semua Orang Beriman yang berlaku universal, maka konsekuensinya, tanggal 31 Oktober akhirnya menjadi Vigili (malam penantian) untuk dua event besar tersebut. Tanggal 31 Oktober pula yang akhirnya
    menjadi tanggal yang dipilih oleh kaum “reformator” (cikal bakal Protestan) untuk memakukan 95 dalil di pintu Gereja Wittenberg, dengan demikian mereka secara eksplisit dan implisit menyatakan
    menolak ajaran Gereja Katolik sejak kebangkitan Kristus, yaitu persekutuan para kudus (dalam
    pengertian Katolik) dan praktik berdoa untuk kedamaian arwah orang beriman yang sudah meninggal.

    Banyak orang yang menghubungkan Halloween dengan tradisi suku Celtic. Sebenarnya, tidak ada bukti yang cukup kuat bahwa kedua Paus yang menetapkan Hari Raya Orang Kudus, sebagai inkulturasi terhadap budaya Celtic. Bahkan opini ini baru muncul ribuan tahun setelah Hari Raya Orang Kudus ditetapkan berlaku universal. Tetapi memang tidak bisa disangkal, apa yang saat ini berkembang dalam perayaan
    Halloween, memang berasal dari budaya pagan Celtic. Lalu apakah sebagai seorang Katolik, tidak boleh merayakan Halloween?

    Tentu saja boleh, karena seperti halnya Malam Natal, Malam Hari raya Orang Kudus, juga sepatutnya
    mendapat tempat di hati umat Katolik. Tidak salah mengadakan pesta kostum, tapi akan lebih baik jika pesta kostum itu diarahkan pada pengenalan akan tokoh-tokoh orang kudus, dan bukan sekadar acara pesta. Mungkin karena di Indonesia peringatan Halloween belum membudaya (karena dipandang sebagai budaya Amerika), maka keluarga-keluarga
    Katolik dapat berkumpul di rumah-rumah mereka, saling berbagi cerita mengenai riwayat hidup santo/a pelindung masing-masing, atau bisa juga membahas riwayat orang kudus yang belum terlalu dikenal bersama anak-anak. Mari kembalikan “budaya Amerika” ini menjadi “budaya Katolik”!

    🙂

    Have a blessed All Hallow’s Eve!!

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