Category: Artikel Pengembangan Diri

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. ―Douglas Adams

Life has no purpose; you have a purpose and you bring it to life.  There isn’t one big cosmic purpose for everyone either; there is only the one you give to yourself – a personal purpose, an individual meaning, a distinct plot to the story that is your life.  Often this plot is difficult to follow; yet it is never impossible to follow and it is worth every bit of effort you can muster.

Each moment, each situation, each turn of events presents you with an opportunity to build the self you are capable of being.  It’s just a matter of accepting opportunities, implementing ideas, taking action, and actively expressing the purpose that is uniquely YOU.

You are stronger than any barrier standing in your way, because you have a purpose that cannot be denied.  You can be adaptable, innovative, hard working and tenacious.  You can imagine the possibilities and then work to make them real.

Here are five life skills that will help you do just that – the real fundamentals of being an empowered, self-directed human being:

1.  Curiosity

Joy comes easy to us in our youth because we haven’t become set too firmly in our ways.  Our willingness to curiously assess new things and varying perspectives allows us to experience flashes of insight and beauty wherever we go.  Those of us who fight the draw of our comfort zones as we age, who sustain our curiosity into our later years, learn a lot more and see far more beauty throughout our lifetime.

Curiosity, after all, is the foundation of lifelong growth.  It allows us to retain a beginner’s mind even as our wisdom expands.  In this way, an enduring curiosity permits our hearts and minds to grow younger, not older every day.

Always remain curious and teachable.  Keep an open mind and do not stop questioning and learning.  Look forward, open new doors and experience new things.  Do so because you’re curious, and because you know that today’s journey is always just beginning.

2.  Creativity

When it comes to human growth, if curiosity is the engine, creativity is the steering wheel.  Creativity is the most powerful instrument of progress – a mindset that endows resources with a new capacity to create possibility and growth.

The world is moving so fast these days that those who say something can’t be done are often interrupted by those who are doing it.  This is precisely why it’s important to exercise your creative mind on a regular basis.  Ultimately, the creative learners inherit the world while the doubters and complacent minds find themselves perfectly suited for a world that no longer exists.

3.  Resilience

Except for your own thoughts, there’s nothing that’s absolutely in your power.  Knowing and accepting this gives you the ability to cope proficiently with life’s constant little inconveniences – a vital life skill we called resilience.

Resilience is accepting reality, even if it’s less than the fantasy you had in your mind or the reality that was once yours.  You can fight it, you can do nothing but complain about what you’re missing, or you can accept what you have and try to put it together to create something good.

As you progress, life will inevitably challenge you on a regular basis.  No matter how much falls on you, keep your head up and plow ahead.  That’s the only way to keep the road to your dreams clear.  It won’t get any more forgiving, but it will get easier and easier to deal with, because over time you will grow stronger and more resilient.

4.  Patience

In the sweetest little voice Winnie-the-Pooh once said, “Rivers know this: there is no hurry.  We shall get there some day.”  This is the power of patience.

Patience is not sitting still.  Rather, it’s mastering your time by applying the right principles in the right way to attain a long-term desired result.  It’s moving forward steadily for as long as it takes to get where you want to go.  Enduring the time between your departure and arrival requires a great deal of will.  But no matter how tedious these moments of waiting are, you have to get used to the feeling, knowing that what you’re working toward is coming your way, even though it’s not with you at the moment.

Ultimately the two hardest tests on the road to personal growth are the patience to wait for what you want and the courage not to be disappointed when it doesn’t arrive as soon as you had expected.  Patience can be bitter, but the seeds you plant now will bear sweet fruit.  These fruits are worth waiting for.  There’s no advantage to hurrying through life and never tasting their sweetness.

5.  Self-reliance

Self-reliance is the most important of all life skills, because without it you can’t practice any other life skill consistently.  It’s honestly a virtue that brings all the rest together.

Quite simply, self-reliance is the unswerving willingness to take responsibility for your life from this moment forward, regardless of who had a hand in making it the way it is now.  It’s taking control of your life, finding your true self by thinking for yourself, and making a firm choice to live your way.  It’s being the hero of your life, not the victim.

Life constantly invites you to be who you are capable of being.  Choosing to be self-reliant is accepting life’s invitation.

Don’t feel bad if people remember you only when they need you.

Feel privileged that you are like a candle that comes to their mind when there is darkness.

You have a train of thought on which you ride when you are alone and quietly thinking. The self-worth you feel, as well as the happiness your life brings, depends upon the direction in which this train is moving, the baggage it carries and the emotional space through which it travels. Between life’s
stimulus and your reaction is where this space exists; within it is your power to choose how you react, and in your reaction lies your growth, freedom and happiness. If you truly want to change your life, you must first
change your mind. You must free it from the restrictive thinking that holds you back.

Here are 50 thought-provoking quotes gathered from our sister site, Everyday Life Lessons, and from our blog archive that will help tweak your thinking and set your mind free.

1. You are only destined to become one person – the person you decide to be.

2. Do good and feel good. Do bad and feel bad. It’s that simple.

3. You are what you do today, not what you say you’ll do tomorrow.

4. We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.

5. Ultimately, it’s not what you do every once in a while; it’s what you dedicate yourself to on a regular basis that makes the difference.

6. Stay true to yourself. Never be ashamed of doing what feels right. Decide what you think is right and
stick to it.

7. If you don’t stand for anything, you will remain forever on your knees.

8. No amount of money will make you happy if you aren’t happy with yourself.

9. You know you’ve made the right decision when there is peace in your heart.

10. Don’t worry if your goals seem crazy to other people; oftentimes the crazy ideas are the ones that have the greatest impact.

11. If you’re thinking like everyone else, then you aren’t thinking.

12. Control your own destiny or someone else will try for you.

13. Sometimes standing up to your friends can be just as difficult as standing up to your enemies.

14. The unhappiest people in this world are the people who care the most about what everyone else thinks.

15. When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom, or criticize you, remember, they’re telling you their story, not yours.

16. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.

17. No one in the world was ever you before, with your particular gifts and abilities and possibilities.

18. Your greatest task isn’t to find love, but to discover and destroy all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

19. A loving, happy person lives in a loving, happy world. A hateful, miserable person lives in a hateful,
miserable world. The world around you reflects YOU.

20. Worry gives small things a big shadow.

21. Focus your conscious mind on things you desire not things you fear. Doing so brings dreams to life.

22. It’s not the mistakes and failures you have to worry about, it’s the opportunities you miss when you don’t even try that hurt the most.

23. It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one over and over again.

24. To get something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.

25. The harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing.

26. Our problems are really our blessings if we use them to grow stronger.

27. Anyone can run away; it’s super easy. Facing problems and working through them, that’s what
makes you strong.

28. When you have two good options, always go with the one that scares you the most, because that’s the one that’s going to help you grow.

29. Courage is being scared to death, and then taking the next step anyway.

30. Sometimes our greatest insight comes from our failure, not from our accomplishments.

31. You need to screw up to learn. You need to experience it all to create greatness.

32. Just because you don’t understand something now doesn’t mean the explanation doesn’t exist.

33. Not knowing everything about your future is a good thing.

34. Don’t worry about what you can’t control and you may liberate yourself.

35. People of average ability often achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most people succeed simply because they are determined to.

36. Temporary happiness isn’t worth long-term pain.

37. Patience can be bitter, but the seeds you plant now will bear sweet fruit.

38. The less you expect, the more pleasant life gets.

39. The more you are in a state of gratitude, the more you will attract things to be grateful for.

40. The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for.

41. It usually isn’t what you have or where you are or what you’re doing that makes you happy. It’s how you think about it all.

42. Do not dwell so much on creating your perfect life that you forget to live.

43. You are not in competition with anybody except yourself; plan to outdo your past not other people.

44. To admit that you were wrong is to declare that you are wiser now than you were before.

45. Humans see what they want to see.

46. If you spend too much time judging yourself, you won’t have any time to love yourself or anyone else.

47. At the end of the day, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart or what’s holding you together.

48. Look through the front windshield and not the rearview mirror.

49. You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when. But you can choose how you are going to live, right now.

50. Be done with regrets; they are an excuse for people who have failed. You still have a chance

Empat tahun yang lalu, kecelakaan telah merenggut orang yang kukasihi, sering aku bertanya-tanya, bagaimana keadaan istriku sekarang di alam surgawi, baik-baik sajakah? Dia pasti sangat sedih karena sudah meninggalkan sorang suami yang tidak mampu mengurus rumah dan seorang anak yang masih begitu kecil. Begitulah yang kurasakan, karena selama ini aku merasa bahwa aku telah gagal, tidak bisa memenuhi kebutuhan jasmani dan rohani anakku, dan gagal untuk menjadi ayah dan ibu untuk anakku.

Pada suatu hari, ada urusan penting di tempat kerja, aku harus segera berangkat ke kantor, anakku masih tertidur. Ohhh aku harus menyediakan makan untuknya. Karena masih ada sisa nasi, jadi aku menggoreng telur untuk dia makan. Setelah memberitahu anakku yang masih mengantuk, kemudian aku bergegas berangkat ke tempat kerja. Peran ganda yang kujalani, membuat energiku benar-
benar terkuras.

Suatu hari ketika aku pulang kerja aku merasa sangat lelah, setelah bekerja sepanjang hari. Hanya sekilas aku memeluk dan mencium anakku, aku langsung masuk ke kamar tidur, dan melewatkan makan malam. Namun, ketika aku merebahkan badan ke tempat tidur dengan maksud untuk tidur sejenak menghilangkan kepenatan, tiba-tiba aku merasa ada sesuatu yang pecah dan tumpah seperti cairan hangat! Aku membuka selimut dan….. di sanalah sumber ‘masalah’nya … sebuah mangkuk yang pecah dengan mie instan yang berantakan di seprai dan selimut!
Oh…Tuhan! Aku begitu marah, aku mengambil gantungan pakaian, dan langsung menghujani anakku yang sedang gembira bermain dengan mainannya, dengan pukulan-pukulan! Dia hanya menangis, sedikitpun tidak meminta belas kasihan, dia hanya memberi penjelasan singkat:
“Ayah, tadi aku merasa lapar dan tidak ada lagi sisa nasi. Tapi ayah belum pulang, jadi aku ingin memasak mie instan. Aku ingat, ayah pernah mengatakan untuk tidak menyentuh atau menggunakan kompor gas tanpa ada orang dewasa di sekitar, maka aku menyalakan mesin air minum ini dan menggunakan air panas untuk memasak mie. Satu untuk ayah dan yang satu lagi untuk saya . Karena aku takut mie-nya akan menjadi dingin, jadi aku menyimpannya di bawah selimut supaya tetap hangat sampai ayah pulang. Tapi aku lupa untuk mengingatkan ayah karena aku sedang bermain dengan mainanku, aku minta maaf,ayah … “

Seketika, air mata mulai mengalir di pipiku, tetapi, aku tidak ingin anakku melihat ayahnya menangis maka aku berlari ke kamar mandi dan menangis dengan menyalakan shower di kamar mandi untuk menutupi suara tangisku. Setelah beberapa lama, aku hampiri anakku, kupeluknya dengan erat dan memberikan obat kepadanya atas luka bekas pukulan dipantatnya, lalu aku membujuknya untuk tidur. Kemudian aku membersihkan kotoran tumpahan mie di tempat tidur. Ketika semuanya sudah selesai dan lewat tengah malam, aku melewati kamar anakku, dan melihat anakku masih menangis, bukan karena rasa sakit di pantatnya, tapi karena dia sedang melihat foto ibu yang dikasihinya.

Satu tahun berlalu sejak kejadian itu, aku mencoba, dalam periode ini, untuk memusatkan perhatian
dengan memberinya kasih sayang seorang ayah dan juga kasih sayang seorang ibu, serta memperhatikan semua kebutuhannya. Tanpa terasa, anakku sudah berumur tujuh tahun, dan akan lulus dari Taman Kanak-kanak. Untungnya, insiden yang terjadi tidak meninggalkan kenangan buruk di masa kecilnya dan dia sudah tumbuh dewasa dengan bahagia.

Namun, belum lama, aku sudah memukul anakku lagi, saya benar-benar menyesal. Guru Taman Kanak-kanaknya memanggilku dan memberitahukan bahwa anak saya absen dari sekolah. Aku pulang kerumah lebih awal dari kantor, aku berharap dia bisa menjelaskan. Tapi ia tidak ada di rumah, aku pergi mencari di sekitar rumah kami, memangil-manggil namanya dan akhirnya menemukan dirinya di sebuah toko alat tulis, sedang bermain komputer game dengan
gembira. Aku marah, membawanya pulang dan menghujaninya dengan pukulan-pukulan. Dia diam saja lalu mengatakan, “Aku minta maaf, ayah“. Selang beberapa lama aku selidiki, ternyata ia absen dari acara “pertunjukan bakat” yang diadakan oleh sekolah, karena yg diundang adalah siswa dengan ibunya. Dan itulah alasan ketidak hadirannya karena ia tidak punya ibu.

Beberapa hari setelah penghukuman dengan pukulan
rotan, anakku pulang ke rumah memberitahuku, bahwa disekolahnya mulai diajarkan cara membaca dan menulis. Sejak saat itu, anakku lebih banyak mengurung diri di kamarnya untuk berlatih menulis,aku yakin , jika istriku masih ada dan melihatnya ia akan merasa bangga, tentu saja dia membuat saya bangga juga!

Waktu berlalu dengan begitu cepat, satu tahun telah lewat. Tapi astaga, anakku membuat masalah lagi. Ketika aku sedang menyelasaikan pekerjaan di hari-hari terakhir kerja, tiba-tiba kantor pos menelpon. Karena pengiriman surat sedang mengalami puncaknya, tukang pos juga sedang sibuk-sibuknya, suasana hati mereka pun jadi kurang bagus. Mereka menelponku dengan marah-marah, untuk memberitahu bahwa anakku telah mengirim beberapa surat tanpa alamat. Walaupun aku sudah berjanji untuk tidak pernah memukul anakku lagi, tetapi aku tidak bisa menahan diri untuk tidak memukulnya lagi, karena aku merasa bahwa anak ini sudah benar-benar keterlaluan. Tapi sekali lagi, seperti sebelumnya, dia meminta maaf : “Maaf, ayah”. Tidak ada tambahan satu kata pun untuk menjelaskan alasannya melakukan itu. Setelah itu saya pergi ke kantor pos untuk mengambil surat-surat tanpa alamat tersebut lalu pulang.
Sesampai di rumah, dengan marah aku mendorong anakku ke sudut mempertanyakan kepadanya, perbuatan konyol apalagi ini? Apa yang ada dikepalanya? Jawabannya, di tengah isak-tangisnya, adalah : “Surat-surat itu untuk ibu…..”. Tiba-tiba mataku berkaca-kaca. …. tapi aku mencoba mengendalikan emosi dan terus bertanya kepadanya:
“Tapi kenapa kamu memposkan begitu banyak surat-surat, pada waktu yg sama?” Jawaban anakku itu :
“Aku telah menulis surat buat ibu untuk waktu yang lama, tapi setiap kali aku mau menjangkau kotak pos itu, terlalu tinggi bagiku, sehingga aku tidak dapat memposkan surat-suratku. Tapi baru-baru ini, ketika aku kembali ke kotak pos, aku bisa mencapai kotak itu dan aku mengirimkannya sekaligus”. Setelah mendengar penjelasannya ini, aku kehilangan kata-kata, aku bingung, tidak tahu apa yang harus aku lakukan, dan apa yang harus aku katakan.
Aku bilang pada anakku, “Nak, ibu sudah berada di surga, jadi untuk selanjutnya, jika kamu hendak menuliskan sesuatu untuk ibu, cukup dengan membakar surat tersebut maka surat akan sampai kepada mommy. Setelah mendengar hal ini, anakku jadi lebih tenang, dan segera setelah itu, ia bisa tidur dengan nyenyak. Aku berjanji akan membakar surat-surat atas namanya, jadi saya membawa surat-surat tersebut ke luar, tapi…. aku jadi penasaran untuk membuka surat tersebut sebelum mereka berubah menjadi abu.

Dan salah satu dari isi surat-suratnya membuat hati
saya hancur
‘ibu sayang’, Aku sangat merindukanmu! Hari ini, ada sebuah acara ‘Pertunjukan Bakat’ di sekolah, dan mengundang semua ibu untuk hadir di pertunjukan tersebut. Tapi kamu tidak ada, jadi aku tidak ingin menghadirinya juga. Aku tidak memberitahu ayah tentang hal ini karena aku takut ayah akan mulai menangis dan merindukanmu lagi.
Saat itu untuk menyembunyikan kesedihan, aku duduk di depan komputer dan mulai bermain game di salah satu toko. Ayah keliling-keliling mencariku, setelah menemukanku ayah marah, dan aku hanya bisa diam, ayah memukul aku, tetapi aku tidak menceritakan alasan yang sebenarnya.
Ibu, setiap hari aku melihat ayah merindukanmu, setiap kali dia teringat padamu, ia begitu sedih dan sering bersembunyi dan menangis di kamarnya. Aku pikir kita berdua amat sangat merindukanmu. Terlalu berat untuk kita berdua. Tapi bu, aku mulai melupakan wajahmu. Bisakah ibu muncul dalam mimpiku sehingga aku dapat melihat wajahmu dan ingat kamu? Temanku bilang jika kau tertidur dengan foto orang yang kamu rindukan, maka kamu akan melihat orang tersebut dalam mimpimu. Tapi ibu, mengapa engkau tak pernah muncul ?

Setelah membaca surat itu, tangisku tidak bisa berhenti karena aku tidak pernah bisa menggantikan kesenjangan yang tak dapat digantikan semenjak ditinggalkan oleh istriku

Note : Untuk para suami dan laki-laki, yang telah dianugerahi seorang istri/pasangan yang baik, yang penuh kasih terhadap anak-anakmu selalu berterima kasihlah setiap hari pada istrimu. Dia telah rela menghabiskan sisa umurnya untuk menemani hidupmu, membantumu, mendukungmu, memanjakanmu dan selalu setia menunggumu, menjaga dan menyayangi dirimu dan anak-anakmu. Hargailah keberadaannya, kasihilah dan cintailah dia sepanjang hidupmu dengan segala kekurangan dan kelebihannya, karena apabila engkau telah kehilangan dia, tidak ada emas permata, intan berlian yang bisa menggantikannya.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, ‘Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.’

Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy.

“Yesterday is a history. Tomorrow is a mistery. Today is a gift, that is why it is called Present .”